1am ramblings because now that i’ve posted something my brain won’t shut up

sometimes i wonder if it's arrogant to think that anyone really cares about what i have to say about anything. i wonder if people will find these ramblings and care well after i'm dead.

i tell myself: one day this will all matter because one day i'll have made something useful of my time on this planet and this can be a look into my mind and how fucking weird it is. i remember i used to record myself on this little like tape recorder just thoughts about my day. i know somewhere there is a cassette with my little handwriting that is titled "when i was 7".

who knows? maybe i've always been arrogant?

look at that face ^^

arrogance.

anyway, i'm turning 31 on tuesday and i've been trying to figure out where i am and what i'm doing with my life. (the way i do every year)

so this is [my birthday] and what have [i] done? another year over, a new one just begun

and maybe i'm fooling myself. maybe we're all fooling ourselves. but who are we if we're not trying for some distant greatness?

so here i am, almost thirty years after this picture was taken. still spilling my guts out to a little toy recorder. maybe i'll name this one "when i was thirty" so one day i can stumble upon it again and wonder what the fuck was i talking about?!